WrestleMania 3

Ah, WrestleMania 3. March 29, 1987. A day where 93,173 fans packed into the Pontiac Silverdome to see more sequins, spandex, and improbable hairdos than a ‘70s glam rock concert. It was an event that made you believe in the impossible: that a man could bodyslam a giant, a referee could actually wrestle, and the WWF wasn’t just sports entertainment, but a Shakespearean tragedy… if Shakespeare had written exclusively in flexed biceps and grunts. Let’s dive into this masterpiece of melodrama and chaos, because if you didn’t love it then, you’re going to love it now.

The Build-Up: Drama That Could Make Soap Operas Blush

Months of preposterous storylines, questionable betrayals, and glorious costumes led to this event. These weren't just wrestlers—they were living, breathing cartoons, and we loved every ridiculous second.

1. Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant: The Bromance Turned Soap Opera

Once upon a time, Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant were the best of pals. But as any daytime drama will tell you, no friendship lasts when you throw in a title belt and an egotistical manager like Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. Andre, clearly tired of playing second fiddle to Hogan's endless supply of "brother" speeches, decided it was time to challenge Hulk for the WWF Championship. Of course, nothing says "I’m done with you, friend" like ripping someone’s shirt off on national TV and glaring at them as if they stole your lunch money. Hogan, in his usual wide-eyed, overly dramatic fashion, agreed to the match, and the rest is wrestling history.

2. Macho Man vs. Ricky Steamboat: A Throat-Smashing, Epic Saga

Macho Man Randy Savage—intense, paranoid, and fueled by Slim Jims. He was the kind of guy who could make ordering a sandwich sound like a life-or-death decision. Ricky Steamboat, on the other hand, was all about honor and respect. Naturally, these two opposites clashed. The drama kicked off when Savage, in one of his most "Macho" moments, decided to crush Steamboat’s larynx with a ring bell. Because, sure, that's how adults handle conflict. Steamboat spent months recovering, probably cursing Savage with every raspy breath, until finally, at WrestleMania, he sought his revenge. It wasn’t just a match—it was a telenovela, minus the bad dubbing.

3. Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis: Fashion Crimes and Haircuts

Rowdy Roddy Piper, the man whose mouth was faster than his punches, decided he’d had enough and wanted to "retire" (spoiler alert: he'd retire about as successfully as a pop star on a comeback tour). But first, he had to deal with Adrian Adonis, a man who, for reasons unknown, decided to embrace the look of a couch cushion with an attitude. The stakes? Hair. Yes, because clearly nothing says "settling a feud" like taking a razor to someone’s scalp. Piper, as always, gave it his all, leaving Adonis bald, bruised, and probably rethinking his life choices.

The Matches: 20-Minute Bouts That Felt Like Epics

1. The Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton & Magnificent Muraco: The ‘Meh’ Opener

The Can-Am Connection, two shiny, happy men in matching spandex, took on Bob Orton (a man who seemed permanently attached to his arm cast) and Don Muraco, who clearly drew the short straw. The match was your typical "good guys win with a roll-up" affair, the kind you watch while munching on your popcorn, wondering if the real show was coming soon. Spoiler: it was.

2. Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes: The Muscular Hug Fest

This was the "Battle of the Full Nelsons," which is just a fancy way of saying two overly muscular guys locked arms and squeezed each other until they both got bored. Hercules, whose name sounds more impressive than his wrestling, got tired of the whole "contest" and just beat the hell out of Haynes with a steel chain afterward. Because, as always, when in doubt, hit someone with metal.

3. King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo & Lord Littlebrook vs. Hillbilly Jim, Little Beaver & The Haiti Kid: Giant Squashes Tiny

Ever wonder what happens when you mix a 450-pound Bundy with wrestlers who could fit in a suitcase? This. The sight of Bundy flattening poor Little Beaver like a pancake is permanently seared into my brain. Hillbilly Jim, who had all the tactical awareness of a houseplant, watched helplessly as Bundy crushed the little guy. But hey, at least the crowd had a good time. For Beaver? Not so much.

4. Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog: Bow Down, But Make It Violent

Harley Race, the self-proclaimed King of Wrestling, faced Junkyard Dog in a "Loser Must Bow" match. Junkyard Dog, a man with more bark than bite (sorry, had to), was not the type to grovel. After losing due to some classic Bobby Heenan interference, he fulfilled the bowing obligation by promptly smacking Race in the head with a chair. This match was less about wrestling and more about how long Race could keep his crown on before someone knocked it off.

5. Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis: The Barber Shop Brawl

Piper and Adonis' match was a chaotic blur of slaps, punches, and exaggerated flailing, as if someone let two Tasmanian devils loose in a hair salon. Adonis briefly put Piper to sleep (probably the first time the crowd was quiet all night), but Piper rallied, won, and celebrated by giving Adonis a makeover he'd never forget—complete with a shaved head and shattered dignity. Piper retired (temporarily, of course) with the crowd in his corner and Adonis looking like the world’s unhappiest egg.

6. The British Bulldogs & Tito Santana vs. The Hart Foundation & Danny Davis: Refereeing Gone Bad

Danny Davis, the crooked referee turned wrestler, was about as welcome in the ring as a fly in your soup. The British Bulldogs and Tito Santana were out for justice after Davis cost them titles. The Harts, as always, were the masters of technical wrestling (and sneaky tactics), while Davis spent most of the match proving why he should’ve stayed a referee. Despite the heroic efforts of the Bulldogs and Santana, Davis sneakily pulled off the win, probably due to all those years practicing cheap victories with a whistle.

7. Macho Man vs. Ricky Steamboat: A Literal Show-Stealer

If WrestleMania 3 was a movie, this match was the Oscar-worthy performance that elevated the entire script. Savage, always the perfectionist and suspiciously fond of elbow drops, and Steamboat, with his fluid, dragon-like grace, created a match that still gets talked about like it’s a work of art. They delivered 20 minutes of heart-stopping near falls, dazzling reversals, and athletic prowess. In the end, Steamboat snagged the Intercontinental title with a roll-up (of course), but the real winner was everyone watching. Savage, ever the lunatic genius, proved that villains could be beloved too.

8. Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant: The Slam Heard 'Round the World

The main event. The reason everyone packed into that stadium. Hogan, the golden boy of the WWF, versus Andre, the literal giant who hadn’t been pinned or slammed in decades. The match itself was more about atmosphere than action, with Andre barely moving and Hogan doing his best to pretend he wasn’t about to break in half. Then it happened—the bodyslam. Hogan lifted Andre (with some help from the wrestling gods), slammed him to the mat, and secured his place as the ultimate hero. The Silverdome shook, the crowd lost its collective mind, and Hulkamania was officially immortalized. Wrestling, as we knew it, had reached its peak.

The Aftermath: Nostalgia, Legacies, and True Love for the Madness

Looking back, WrestleMania 3 wasn’t just a wrestling event—it was a moment in time that captured everything glorious and bizarre about the WWF in the late '80s. The over-the-top characters, the absurd storylines, and the sheer spectacle made it unforgettable. Hogan slamming Andre? That’s the kind of thing that got replayed so often, even kids who weren’t born yet know about it. Savage vs. Steamboat? It’s the gold standard for what wrestling could be—two athletes putting on a show that was as much art as it was sport. And Piper? Well, the guy could retire a dozen times, and we’d still welcome him back with open arms and bagpipes.

For those of us who were there (or wish we were), WrestleMania 3 isn’t just a nostalgia trip. It’s a reminder of the magic of pro wrestling at its most theatrical and ridiculous. It was when giants roamed the earth, heroes and villains played out their drama in the ring, and every match felt like the stakes couldn’t be higher. Sure, it was silly. Sure, it was exaggerated. But that’s why we loved it. And 37 years later, that love hasn’t faded one bit.

To this day, WrestleMania 3 stands as a testament to why we watch wrestling in the first place. It’s not just about the moves or the belts. It’s about the larger-than-life characters, the unforgettable moments, and the shared experience of being part of something grand, ridiculous, and wonderful. Whether you cheered for Hogan, laughed at Piper, or cringed as Bundy squashed Little Beaver, WrestleMania 3 gave you something to remember. And isn't that the point of it all?