SummerSlam 1988

Ah, SummerSlam 1988—a simpler time, when men with face paint and wild haircuts dominated the ring, and finishing moves were as subtle as a clothesline to the face. This was the WWF in its glorious prime: bigger, louder, and overflowing with muscles that defied anatomy. Welcome to SummerSlam’s debut, where the action was hotter than Hulk Hogan’s tan, and the drama was thicker than André the Giant’s headlock. Let’s dive into the madness.

The Build-Up: If You Thought the Outfits Were Bright, Wait Till You See the Drama

SummerSlam 1988 wasn’t just about matches—it was about alliances, betrayals, and a few too many managers lurking ringside. The show’s main event pitted two giant egos—Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage—against the colossal André the Giant and the million-dollar man himself, Ted DiBiase. Throw in Miss Elizabeth’s strategically short skirts, Virgil lurking like a forgotten sidekick, and Bobby Heenan scheming away, and you had a perfect storm of melodrama.

1. The British Bulldogs vs. The Fabulous Rougeaus: Time Flies When You’re Dropkicking

The British Bulldogs, Davey Boy Smith and Dynamite Kid, showed up ready to scrap with the dastardly Fabulous Rougeaus, Jacques and Raymond, who had perfected the art of being insufferable. It was a solid back-and-forth match with lots of action and even more mullets. Unfortunately, the match ended in that most satisfying of wrestling conclusions—a time limit draw. Because what’s more thrilling than watching a match for 20 minutes only to find out it ends in a stalemate? But hey, at least the Bulldogs didn’t lose their hair along with the match.

2. Bad News Brown vs. Ken Patera: An Olympic Slam Dunk? Not Quite

Bad News Brown wasn’t exactly known for his sunny disposition, and tonight was no different. He faced off against Ken Patera, who, despite being a former Olympian, was now just a guy trying to throw punches in spandex. Patera gave it his best shot, but Bad News lived up to his name by knocking out Patera and any hope he had of becoming relevant again. A real feel-good moment for those of us who enjoy seeing Olympic athletes get schooled by guys with questionable nicknames.

3. Rick Rude vs. Junkyard Dog: Bobby Heenan Strikes Again

Rick Rude, a man whose arrogance was only outmatched by his insistence on flexing at every opportunity, took on Junkyard Dog, everyone’s favorite chain-swinging, bark-imitating good guy. With Bobby "The Brain" Heenan scheming ringside, you knew this wouldn’t be a fair fight. Sure enough, after Rude tried (and failed) to seduce the crowd with his abs, JYD got disqualified for hitting Heenan. Because in the world of WWF, protecting your manager from getting slugged by a dog in a chain is apparently not allowed.

4. The Powers of Pain vs. The Bolsheviks: The Real Cold War

The Powers of Pain, Warlord and Barbarian—two guys who looked like they came straight from an ‘80s action movie casting call—faced off against The Bolsheviks, Nikolai Volkoff and Boris Zhukov, the WWF’s obligatory Russian villains. Managed by the always-slick Slick, the Bolsheviks got a solid beating from the Powers of Pain. Because if there’s one thing wrestling fans love more than a powerful tag team, it’s a tag team with matching shoulder pads. The Powers won the match, and the Bolsheviks probably spent the next few weeks questioning their life choices.

5. The Ultimate Warrior vs. The Honky Tonk Man: The Fastest Title Change in History

What can we say about The Ultimate Warrior that hasn’t been screamed in a barely-coherent promo already? The guy was a ball of energy, face paint, and questionable life advice. When he stormed into the ring to take on The Honky Tonk Man, the longest-reigning Intercontinental Champion (and part-time Elvis impersonator), you just knew something was going to go down. Sure enough, the Warrior destroyed Honky in about 30 seconds, because subtlety was never his thing. Goodbye, Elvis jumpsuit—hello, Warrior madness.

6. Dino Bravo vs. Don Muraco: A Clash of Meh

Dino Bravo, Canada’s self-proclaimed strongest man (or was it most forgettable?), squared off against Don Muraco, a guy who looked like he’d been airlifted from the set of Miami Vice. There wasn’t much to say about this match—except that it happened. Bravo picked up the win, and somewhere, someone probably cared. But in a show filled with massive personalities, these two were lucky they didn’t get forgotten in catering.

7. Demolition vs. The Hart Foundation: Face Paint vs. Family Pride

The tag team champions Demolition, known for their Mad Max-inspired face paint and general disregard for human life, faced the Hart Foundation, Bret "The Hitman" Hart and Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart. With Mr. Fuji and Jimmy Hart causing all sorts of distractions, Demolition successfully defended their titles, despite Bret Hart giving yet another wrestling clinic. The Hart Foundation walked away without the gold, but with Bret’s technical wizardry on full display, it was clear that bigger things were on the horizon for the Hitman.

8. Big Boss Man vs. Koko B. Ware: Who’s the Real Birdman?

Look, Big Boss Man was basically your worst nightmare of a cop—overweight, aggressive, and wielding a nightstick. But that didn’t stop Koko B. Ware, the human version of a parrot, from giving it a shot. With his colorful tights and his actual parrot, Frankie, cheering him on, Koko tried to take down the Boss Man. Unfortunately for Koko, it was nightstick > bird, and the Boss Man picked up the win, leaving Koko and Frankie to fly home in defeat.

9. Jake Roberts vs. Hercules: Snakes and Chains, a Love Story

Jake "The Snake" Roberts, the man who made reptiles part of his act, took on Hercules, the guy whose primary personality trait was owning a giant chain. It was a battle of the accessories: snake vs. chain. Jake, ever the master of mind games (and the DDT), came out on top, sending Hercules and his chain back to the gym for some reflection. Jake probably went backstage to whisper sweet nothings to his snake, Damien, while we all wondered why we liked this guy so much.

10. The Mega Powers vs. The Mega Bucks: More Ego Than the Ring Could Handle

And now, the main event—The Mega Powers, Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage, with Miss Elizabeth standing awkwardly in the middle, versus The Mega Bucks, Ted DiBiase and André the Giant, who collectively weighed more than most small towns. This match had it all—Savage’s barely-restrained insanity, Hogan’s love affair with flexing, and DiBiase throwing money around like he was trying to buy a wrestling promotion. But let’s not forget André, whose primary move at this stage of his career was “stand there and look intimidating.”

Miss Elizabeth, ever the wild card, played her role to perfection—by distracting everyone with her strategically removed skirt (a WWF first, and probably last). This allowed Hogan and Savage to pick up the win, sealing their bromance for the time being. But just like with Survivor Series, you knew there were storm clouds brewing on the horizon—especially with Hogan’s habit of overshadowing Savage at every opportunity. But for one night, the Mega Powers ruled supreme, and Miss Elizabeth’s skirt was the real MVP.

The Aftermath: Skirts, Betrayals, and Warrior Madness

SummerSlam 1988 set the stage for some of the biggest betrayals, rivalries, and, of course, the Ultimate Warrior's meteoric rise. After obliterating the Honky Tonk Man in under 30 seconds, Warrior catapulted himself into superstardom, becoming the face-painted, neon warrior we all loved to imitate (and probably pulled a muscle doing so). His reign as Intercontinental Champion was just the beginning of a career filled with running, shaking ropes, and speaking in riddles that only made sense to him—and maybe a few lucky fans.

As for the Hart Foundation, their near-miss with Demolition only solidified Bret "The Hitman" Hart’s future as a singles star. While they didn’t win the belts that night, Bret’s technical brilliance was undeniable. The seeds were being planted for a future where Bret would become the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. But, you know, he still had a few years of getting hit by people in face paint to go through first.

The Mega Powers? Oh, we all know how that ended. Hogan couldn’t help but outshine Randy Savage at every turn, and their seemingly unstoppable partnership would implode in epic fashion by WrestleMania V. Savage’s growing jealousy over Hogan’s endless flexing and Miss Elizabeth’s... uh, attention would lead to one of the greatest feuds in wrestling history. But on this night, they stood united—two men with oversized egos and an insatiable hunger for the spotlight. What could go wrong?

And let’s not forget the delightful Rick Rude and his constant posing. His rivalry with Junkyard Dog may not have lasted, but it set the stage for his future feuds with men like Ultimate Warrior and Jake Roberts. No one could wear arrogance quite like Rick Rude, and his abs would continue to make appearances in just about every match. They were practically a character of their own.

The Legacy: Why SummerSlam 1988 Still Lives in Our Hearts (and VHS Collections)

There’s something about SummerSlam 1988 that just hits differently. Maybe it’s the unforgettable characters, the larger-than-life personalities, or the sheer absurdity of the matchups. Or maybe it’s the way WWF perfectly balanced drama, athleticism, and ridiculous outfits. From the Ultimate Warrior’s explosive debut to the beginning of the end for the Mega Powers, this show set the tone for what SummerSlam would become—the biggest party of the summer.

Sure, wrestling today has evolved—there’s more athleticism, fewer mullets, and slightly less face paint (depending on the wrestler). But back in 1988, it was all about the spectacle. You didn’t watch for five-star technical masterpieces; you watched to see how many face-first stunners a man could take before he started seeing double. You watched to see grown men in spandex settle their differences the only way they knew how—by hitting each other with folding chairs.

Looking back at SummerSlam 1988, you can’t help but smile. It was peak 1980s wrestling, with all the melodrama, over-the-top characters, and neon tights that came with it. And though we’ve moved on from some of the tropes (thankfully, no more time-limit draws), the heart and soul of what made these events special remain. SummerSlam ’88 wasn’t just a wrestling show; it was a wild ride through the world of good guys, bad guys, and somewhere-in-the-middle guys with a penchant for being sneaky.

So if you ever need a break from today’s polished, athletic-focused wrestling, just throw on SummerSlam 1988. You’ll be treated to a time when wrestling was simpler—when a well-timed elbow drop or a cheeky distraction from a manager was all you needed to bring the house down. It was a beautiful mess, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

And remember—always watch out for Miss Elizabeth’s skirt. It could change the course of history.