Royal Rumble 1989

Picture this: it's January 15, 1989, and WWF’s newest creation, the Royal Rumble, is in full swing. Held in Houston, Texas, this event took the concept of “let’s just throw everyone in the ring and see what happens” to new heights. Thirty wrestlers entered, one would leave victorious, and the rest would spend the evening explaining why they were tossed out of the ring like yesterday's laundry. The stakes were low, but the drama? The drama was through the roof, and let me tell you—this event had it all: egos, mullets, body oil, and a whole lot of spandex. Let's break it down in a way the '80s would appreciate: loud, ridiculous, and unforgettable.

The Build-Up: When Too Many Characters Just Wasn't Enough

By 1989, the WWF had firmly established itself as the land where colorful characters went to have overly dramatic meltdowns. The Royal Rumble had debuted the year before, but this was the first time it was on pay-per-view, which meant everyone had to get in on the action. The storylines were as convoluted as your average soap opera, featuring betrayals, surprise alliances, and more flexing than a bodybuilder convention. And we ate it up.

1. Big John Studd: The Walking Red Flag

Let’s start with the guy who actually won this thing: Big John Studd. Standing at 6'10" and tipping the scales at over 350 pounds, he was the kind of guy who looked like he could squash you but would also lecture you about respect in the same breath. Studd had retired in 1986 because, well, body slams and giant egos can take their toll. But like any good wrestling storyline, he made his triumphant return to the WWF in '88, just in time for the Rumble. His win was less about dominating the match and more about proving he could still function after sitting out for two years.

2. Hulk Hogan: The Walking Ego Trip

Then there was Hulk Hogan. Fresh off his never-ending string of title reigns and declarations of "Hulkamania is running wild, brother!", Hogan entered the Rumble with his usual bravado and, of course, his tendency to make everything about himself. This Rumble? Just another opportunity for Hulk to flex, both literally and figuratively, as he tossed out as many opponents as he could while somehow managing to stay golden in the fans’ eyes.

3. The Macho Man & Hulk Hogan: Frenemies? Maybe?

And speaking of Hogan, let’s not forget the brewing drama between him and Randy "Macho Man" Savage. They were the Mega Powers, the ultimate '80s tag team, but cracks were starting to show. Savage, with his paranoid tendencies and wardrobe stolen from a rainbow, wasn’t too keen on Hogan’s constant grandstanding. The Rumble added gasoline to this simmering fire, with Hogan "accidentally" eliminating Savage in one of those moments that was anything but accidental. If the tension between these two wasn't obvious yet, it was now crystal clear.

4. Andre the Giant: A Mountain with a Grudge (and a Snake Problem)

Andre the Giant—who at this point was wrestling more on reputation than mobility—didn’t have much time to dish out his usual slow-motion destruction. His feud with Jake "The Snake" Roberts took center stage here, which, if you were betting, you’d assume would end with Andre crushing Jake like an empty soda can. But nope, the giant's kryptonite wasn’t a bodyslam or a piledriver—it was a python. When Jake unleashed his trusty snake, Damian, Andre noped out of the ring faster than we thought he could move. That's right, folks: the man who wrestled Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania III and had terrorized rings across the world was undone by a slithery pet. By the time Hulk Hogan even entered the match, Andre was already back in the locker room, probably negotiating with Vince McMahon to ban reptiles from ringside forever.

The Matches: More Chaos Than You Could Shake a Turnbuckle At

1. The Royal Rumble Match: Thirty Men Enter, Sanity Exits

The Rumble match was, of course, the main event. Picture thirty wrestlers, all crammed into one ring, each trying to avoid getting tossed over the top rope like an unwanted house guest. The rules were simple: enter every two minutes, throw your opponent out, and hope you don’t get clotheslined into next week. The standout moments? Well, we already mentioned the Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage frenemy situation, but there were plenty of other wild highlights:

• Andre the Giant eliminated himself after Jake "The Snake" Roberts let loose his pet python, Damian. Because why wrestle when you can just release a snake, right?
• Hulk Hogan threw out nine people, because of course he did. He then cried foul when his "friend" the Big Boss Man dared to eliminate him. Hogan, my dude, you weren’t even supposed to be in the ring that long.
• Big John Studd eventually won the match by tossing out Ted DiBiase, who probably thought he could just buy his way to victory. Spoiler alert: he couldn’t.

2. Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. The Big Boss Man: Whose 2x4 Is Bigger?

Hacksaw Jim Duggan, a man who looked like he stumbled in from a construction site and never left, squared off against the Big Boss Man. If you wanted to see two burly guys clubbing each other with literal pieces of wood, this match was for you. Duggan spent most of the match shouting “HOOOOOO!” (a catchphrase that somehow got over) while the Big Boss Man waved his nightstick like he was auditioning for the worst cop show ever.

3. Rockin’ Robin vs. Judy Martin: A Women’s Match That Actually Happened

Yes, there was a women’s match on this card. Rockin’ Robin, the WWF Women’s Champion, defended her title against Judy Martin, and it lasted just long enough for everyone to remember that women's wrestling wasn’t exactly treated like a big deal in the '80s. Robin won with a flying crossbody, but let’s be real—this match wasn’t stealing any headlines.

4. The Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude: Flex-Off Extraordinaire

The Ultimate Warrior, a man who seemed to run exclusively on 10,000 calories of adrenaline, took on Rick Rude, who spent more time posing in front of mirrors than actually wrestling. This wasn’t an official match, but a pose-off. Yes, you read that right. They literally had a flexing competition where the crowd judged who had the better body. The winner? Clearly no one, except maybe the audience members who got to experience the pinnacle of WWF absurdity firsthand.

The Aftermath: A Beautiful Mess of Wrestlers and Their Futures

So what came out of this chaotic royal mess? Well, for starters, Big John Studd’s victory didn’t amount to much. He would soon fade into the background, proving that not every Royal Rumble winner is destined for greatness. Meanwhile, Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage’s Mega Powers would continue to implode, leading to one of the most dramatic matches in WrestleMania history later that year.

Andre the Giant’s fear of snakes became a thing (as it should), and Jake Roberts would continue terrorizing people with his reptilian sidekick. Ted DiBiase, the Million Dollar Man, didn’t let his Rumble loss get him down. After all, when you have that much money, does losing a wrestling match really matter?

The Royal Rumble itself would go on to become one of the WWF’s most beloved traditions, a place where careers could be made (or broken) in the span of one chaotic hour. Sure, the Rumble was a spectacle—one giant, sweaty mess of bodies, egos, and bad decisions—but isn’t that what we loved about it?

The Nostalgia: Why We Love the Royal Rumble

Looking back at Royal Rumble 1989, it's impossible not to feel a wave of nostalgia. This was WWF at its campiest, its loudest, and its most fun. The Rumble wasn’t about subtlety or technical mastery—it was about personalities. It was about watching the cartoonish characters we grew up with getting tossed over the top rope in the most dramatic fashion possible.

Sure, wrestling has changed a lot since then. But there’s something about these early Rumbles that makes you smile. It was simpler, more over-the-top, and honestly? That’s what made it magical. No matter how many times you watch Hogan flex, Macho Man rant, or Andre glare, you still feel the joy of a bygone era. An era where it was totally normal to see a snake terrorizing a 7-foot giant, or a grown man swinging a 2x4 like he was trying to fix a barn in the middle of a wrestling ring. And we loved every second of it. The Royal Rumble was the ultimate playground for these larger-than-life personalities, a place where egos collided, friendships were betrayed, and alliances were as flimsy as Rick Rude's tights.

Looking back at Royal Rumble 1989, it's clear that this was more than just a match—it was an experience. A moment in time when wrestling wasn't trying to be anything other than a ridiculous spectacle, and we as fans weren't asking for anything more. The drama, the chaos, the sheer unpredictability—it's what made us tune in, and what still makes us rewatch it all these years later.

So, yes, wrestling has changed. It’s slicker now, more polished. But sometimes you just want to go back to a time when wrestlers shouted catchphrases, posed in front of mirrors, and ran into the ring like their lives depended on it. The Royal Rumble gave us that, and 1989’s edition was peak WWF madness—a beautiful, chaotic mess we wouldn’t trade for anything.

For those of us who were there, or who’ve discovered it later, it’s more than just nostalgia. It’s a reminder of why we fell in love with wrestling in the first place. The characters, the action, the absolute absurdity of it all—it was pro wrestling at its loudest and most entertaining. And even today, whenever the clock counts down and that next wrestler charges into the ring, we get a little taste of that magic all over again.